


Impromptu Is the Best Kind of Fun

by heeroluva



Category: Zombieland (2009)
Genre: Age Difference, Blow Jobs, D/s, Dirty Talk, Hand Jobs, M/M, Non-Penetrative Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-23
Updated: 2010-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-14 00:41:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/143429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heeroluva/pseuds/heeroluva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a close encounter of the zombie kind, Tallahassee and Columbus blow off some steam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Impromptu Is the Best Kind of Fun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Reddwarfer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reddwarfer/gifts).



The first time it happened they were cornered in a country gunship so at least there was no shortage of ammunition. The zombies had appeared out of nowhere as they often did, but there were dozens of them. It was like Pacific Playland all over again, except it seemed so much worse. When the last body finally hit the ground and lay sill, they were both breathing hard. With a start Columbus realized that he was rock hard. He cast a discreet glance to the side peering under his lashes at Tallahassee and saw that the older man was in a similar predicament. It doesn’t matter, he told himself. It didn’t mean anything. It was just the adrenaline.

Columbus felt the sudden weight of Tallahassee’s heated gaze as it focused on him, and Columbus blushed bright red as he realized that the other man had noticed his state. He wasn’t sure how it happened because he hadn’t moved, and he didn’t remember Tallahassee moving, but suddenly Tallahassee was pressed up against him, arms wrapped around him as lips slanted possessively over his and a probing tongue demanded entrance.

Before he even had a chance to think about what he was doing, Columbus was kissing him back with all the passion that he could manage. Which given all the pent up hormones that he had built up over the years, was a considerable amount. The thing with Wichita had never panned out after their ill fated kiss as her and Little Rock had decided to go out on their own again , but not before stealing the majority of their supplies while they were at it. Which was why they’d been in this store in the first place, and why they were in their current position.

Tallahassee was slowly guiding him somewhere, and Columbus found out where when his back hit the display case. Tallahassee wedged his thick thigh between Columbus’ legs, pressing against delicate flesh, and Columbus couldn’t help but pull away from the sinful kill and moan as he humped against Tallahassee to get more of that delicious sensation, wanting more, never having been touched this way.

“Hell, yessss,” Tallahassee hissed through clenched teeth as he pushed even closer, bucking against him.

Columbus just ground against him, enjoying the situation. Before the zombie apocalypse he’d been close friends with his right hand. Since then he’d been mostly too stressed to even think about sex, but with the addition of people in his life, he now had to worry about being caught by one of them. The mortification that was sure to follow had been enough to dissuade him from trying it often. H imagined the laughter and mocking that would come from Tallahassee and the disgust from Wichita. But the worst would have been Little Rock. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how humiliating it would be for a twelve year old female to walk in on him in that situation.

Columbus was jerked out of his musing and back to the present as his undone pants and underwear where unceremoniously shoved down to bunch at his thighs and his cock sprang out, hard and needy, into Tallahassee’s hot grasp. Tallahassee gave a few rough tugs, causing Columbus to moan in a mixture of pain and pleasure at the dry friction. It hurt so good.

“More, please,” Columbus all but begged.

Tallahassee obliged him, running his thumb over the leaking head of his cock, spreading the moisture around and dragging a deep moan out of Columbus. A sudden heat was pressed up against his cock, definitely not Tallahassee’s hand, and his eyes snapped open, not even realizing that they’d fallen shut. At the sight before him Columbus almost came right that instant.

At some point Tallahassee had opened up his own pants, but he hadn’t bothered to push them down out of the way as he had done with Columbus’ own. Instead, his cock was sticking out the front of his boxers. It was so dirty and lewd – and _hot_.

Columbus didn’t realize that he’d moved until his hand wrapped tentatively around the throbbing flesh. Tallahassee was bigger than him, both in length and girth, but Columbus wasn’t ashamed of it. Tallahassee was bigger all over, so it made sense that he’d be big here too.

There was something different about Tallahassee’s cock. Columbus had never seen another in real life, but he’d seen his own obvious, and he’d seen plenty in porn. As his hand explored, he realized that Tallahassee had his foreskin still. He wasn’t cut like Columbus. He gave it a hesitant tug, covering the head with the loose skin then sliding it back down again, exposing the gleaming gland. He shuddered as the slit suddenly burped out more glistening precum and stared transfixed as the bead dribbled down the shaft and hit his fingers still wrapped around the base.

Tallahassee groaned, “Yes, just like that.” But he pulled Columbus’ hand up and eyes locked with his, licked the liquid from his fingers, sucking in each finger one at a time. Columbus’ eyes dilated widely and his nostrils flared at the sight as his cock suddenly throbbing in appreciation and jealousy.

Tallahassee pulled off his fingers with a lewd pop and then spit on his hand, then moved in it front of Columbus, ordering, “Spit.”

Columbus did as he was told and watched wide-eyed as his hand was guided to their cocks. Without further prompting, he wrapped his finger around them both and squeezed. It should have been nasty, it should have been gross, but at that moment, he couldn’t conjure up enough brain cells to care, particularly not since they’d just been swapping spit. Then Tallahassee’s bigger hand was suddenly on top of his, guiding him, starting a rhythm that he quickly picked up.

Tallahassee’s other hand was suddenly in his face, and they were pushing against his lips as he ordered, “Suck. Get them nice and wet.”

Columbus drew the demanding fingers into his mouth and sucked. He felt a smug sense of satisfaction as he felt the suddenly throb and jerk of Tallahassee under his hand at the action.

After a minute the fingers were pulled away with a wet pop, and Tallahassee’s mouth settled against his own again. Columbus almost bit Tallahassee though when the press of those wet fingers traced along his ass cracked before settling teasingly against his asshole, slowly circling. He raised one of his legs and wrapped it around Tallahassee’s waist, encouraging closer contact, all the while keeping up the rhythmic stroking of their cocks.

It was an odd sensation, not good or bad, but he wanted more. As if reading his mind, Tallahassee stopped teasing him, and pushed steadily against the guarding muscle. He might have squealed when the questing finger suddenly popped in, but Tallahassee’s mouth, caught any sound he made. There was a stretch and burn as the muscle gave way allowing entrance. And then Tallahassee’s finger nudged his prostate, causing him to buck, moan, and push down against that wonderful hand, seeking more contact.

Tallahassee chuckled. “Knew you’d like that.” Then he nudge it again, then a poke and a prod, stroking in rhythm to the hands on their cocks.

Columbus would have long ago faltered if not for the sure hand still guiding his. This was all too new, too much. He was surprised he hadn’t exploded at the first touch.

A second spit-slicked finger suddenly slid into his ass, causing him to hiss and clench down hand around the intruders, while his hand spasmed almost painfully around their cocks. But it was enough to set Tallahassee off, and as he spilled across their pumping first, across Columbus’ cock, he gave one last job to his prostate. Columbus found himself following him over the edge, cumming harder than he ever had in his life.

He must have blacked out because when he came to he was clean and his clothes were fastened and Tallahassee was zipping up a bag of supplies.

“Have a nice nap, spitfuck?” Not even waiting for an answer, he held open the door and said, “Well come on then.”

Columbus grabbed his gun and the bag that he’d packed before they zombie came and hurried to follow, wondering if perhaps he dreamed it. But as he was walking out, his eyes landed on the cloth that Tallahassee had obviously used to clean him up. Then as he climbed into the SUV, and sat down, there was no denying it when felt the sudden urge to squirm at the new sensation.

He blushed bright red as he noticed Tallahassee’s knowing look as the older man climbed into the driver’s seat. At the man’s leer, Columbus couldn’t help but wonder if he’d opened a can of worms that was better left sealed, if he’d bitten off more than he could chew.

“Going to get a plug for that sweet ass, spitfuck. Give you a real reason to squirm. Gonna keep you slick and open for me whenever the urge hits. Just have to pull out the plug, bend you over, and it’ll be like sliding into liquid silk, hot and tight and wet.

Columbus’ eyes went wide, not believing what he was hearing, but was turned on despite his misgivings. The practical part of him hoped Tallahassee was joking because running from zombies would be particularly hard with something shoved up his ass. It would definitely put a spring in his step, but dying because he was too busy cumming his balls out, didn’t really sound all that appealing. But despite those misgivings, a part of him wanted it, hope Tallahassee would really do it.

He was impossible hard in his pants despite having just come shortly before, and was already leaking enough to leave a noticeable wet spot. Tallahassee was obviously equally aroused, legs spread wide, and splayed open, showing himself off, the large bulge cupped tightly by those sinful blue jeans.

Without conscious thought, Columbus’ hand moved to trace the seam along the crotch of his pants before fully cupping the swollen flesh, grinning as it hardened farther under his hand, and jumped invitingly at the touch.

Tallahassee hissed through his teeth at the sensation, pushing up against his hand. “Undo my pants, and take me out.”

Columbus scooted closer on the bench seat – made exactly for situations like this –fumbling with the button for a moment before it popped free from the material. He inched the zipper down and was startled when he was greeted by a trail of dark hair and tanned flesh instead of cloth. Apparently Tallahassee had lost his boxers while he’d cleaned them up.

He’d never seen anyone else’s cock in person before, but he knew this one was particularly beautiful as it lay throbbing against Tallahassee’s cut abs. Before his eyes the foreskin slid down revealing the glistening head. Reaching down, he withdrew Tallahassee’s balls out of his jeans and rolled them gently in his hand.

“God,” Tallahassee groaned. “Should have done this months ago. Knew you’d be hot as fuck, gagging for it. Wanted you the moment I saw you, little spitfuck standing his ground against me.” One hand moved to the back of Columbus’ head, pulling him down and forward, and knowing what he wanted Columbus complied. “No teeth. Keep your lips over them. Not too deep or you’ll gag, and that won’t be fun for either of us if you puke.”

Columbus tentatively stuck out his tongue tasting the leaking liquid and finding it acceptable, took the whole head in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, delving under his foreskin, and pressing his tongue against the base of the head where he knew was extra sensitive.

Tallahassee swore and thrust up wildly, but Columbus managed to pull back just in time. “Shit, sorry. Knew you had a cocksucker mouth, but _day-am_ , you’re a natural. Do that again.”

And he did, again, and again, and again, fisting the lower half of his shaft while he drew the rest into his mouth, hollowed his cheeks, and sucked. Using his free hand, he cupped Tallahassee’s balls, tugging them gently.

Both of Tallahassee’s hands were suddenly on his head, pushing him down. “Breathe through your nose and swallow.”

Columbus didn’t understand what he meant until Tallahassee suddenly thrust deep, the head of his cock hitting the back of his throat, causing him to gag, and tear up. Tallahassee pulled back a little before he did it again, and both of Columbus’ hands flew up to his hips, trying to hold him off. On the next thrust he finally understood, and it wasn’t easy, and it burned, but he swallowed when Tallahassee bottomed out this time, and remembered to breathe through his nose. He gagged again the next time, not ready, but then started to get the hang of it. It took him a minute to realize that Tallahassee was _fucking his mouth_ , and Columbus was taking it _all. Technically he was still a virgin and giving his first blow job. Funny, he always figured he’d be the one getting one, not giving one._

“God, yes like that. Such a fast learner you are. Such a good boy. Oh shit, gonna cum soon. Want to see you swallow me down.”

Columbus’ hips bucked against air at the dirty talk, desperately wanting to cum, then Tallahassee was shuddering, coming down his throat. Then he pulled back, and he could taste it, wanted more of it, but it was coming out to fast, and it dribbled down the corns of his mouth, and he had to pull off or choke, and as the last couple blasts hit him in the face, he found himself cumming untouched.

Collapsing against the seat panting, he rested his head against Tallahassee’s thigh.

Tallahassee drew his finger along Columbus’ face, collecting his cum, and brought his finger to Columbus’ mouth, who eager sucked it clean. He repeated this till it was all gone. “Fuck, you’re hot. Want you again.” His fist wrapped around his reawaking cock, and Columbus looked at it with interest. “Nuh-uh, need to pick up a few things first.” At Columbus’ inquisitive glance he continued. “Saw a sex shop a few miles back.”

Columbus’ eyes went wide, and he swallowed audible, going red as his imagination went into overdrive. Suddenly uncomfortable in his stick jeans and boxers he shimmied out of him and tugged his shirt over his head as well, grinning smugly as Tallahassee’s cock went from half hard to full hard in a matter of seconds. “Just drive,” he told Tallahassee as he sank down, taking his cock back into his mouth.

“Shit, kid. Created a monster.” Tallahassee shifted the SUV into gear and they were off before mumbling, “Blaming you, if we crash. Fuck, you’re too good at this.”

Columbus just hummed happily around his new favorite toy, smiling around his mouthful as Tallahassee groaned. Maybe zombie apocalypses weren’t so bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Didn't plan on writing porn. Just happened, so I ran with it. ;) Hope you enjoy this. Happy Holiday!


End file.
